


Memory Lane of Colours

by ApplesandLemons_345



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A lot of pain, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance forgets his memories, M/M, Paladins, Possible Character Death, Protective Voltron Paladins, Sorry Not Sorry, hopefully, klance, klangst, talk of death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28363317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApplesandLemons_345/pseuds/ApplesandLemons_345
Summary: So, what if, season 7 ended differently. What if the team came back, to find out that Lance’s family was not what it seemed, and after waking up in the hospital, he had no memories of Voltron even happening? What if they all walked out of the final battle on earth unscathed, except for the one boy that was closest to the explosion?What if the people who were supposed to die, did not die, and the people who were not, did? Well, Lance surely did not, he could tell by the number of wires hooked up to his body giving fluids, and the irritating beeping of the heart monitor beside him. What he did not know, was where the heck he was, or why he was currently feeling like an elephant sat on his body and it made him want to scream....All he wants is familiarity. So in order to remember everything, he needs to go down memory lane. With help of the others of course.
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Voltron Paladins
Comments: 19
Kudos: 51





	1. Waking with Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusion:  
> /kənˈfjuːʒ(ə)n/  
> noun  
> 1\. Uncertainty about what is happening, intended or required.  
> 2\. The state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something.
> 
> Example: "Yes, he could tell he was hurt, but the confusion and lack of memory caused him distraught."

So, what if, season 7 ended differently. What if the team came back, to find out that Lance’s family was not what it seemed, and after waking up in a hospital, he had no memories of Voltron even happening? What if they all walked out of the final battle on earth unscathed, except for the one boy that was closest to the explosion?

What if the people who were supposed to die, did not die, and the people who were not, did? Well, Lance surely did not, he could tell by the number of wires hooked up to his body giving fluids, and the irritating beeping of the heart monitor beside him. What he did not know, was where the heck he was, or why he was currently feeling like an elephant sat on his body and it made him want to scream.

Looking around the room, using the sound of the heart monitor to bring his senses to reality, he lifted himself into a sitting position, using his elbows to keep steady, no matter how much it ached his bones. To his right were the blaring monitor, two chairs and an untouched window which let the natural light of the sun’s dawn fade into the softly lit room. His left was occupied by a side table and of course a door, but through the windows of it and the lack of accumulating noise, he could tell it was barren or empty. What caught his attention was, on the walls of white surrounding him, a television? Again, there was no sound, apart from the buzz of electricity radiating from it, and the images of bright coloured lions among a crowd, and people who looked like authoritative figures.

So, he was in, what he assumed was a hospital. It was late in the evening, and there seemed to have been a major event that occurred in the past few days, according to what he could grab from the television. But he still did not know why he was here. Yes, he could tell he was hurt, but the confusion and lack of memory caused him distraught. So much so, the young boy pushed himself out of the hospital bed, pulling the wires from his skin and tried to focus on his balance.

He did not want to be here. He did not want to be in this room, not while he felt something was wrong. He did not even know what was wrong, it was just a gut feeling. Looking more closely at the chairs on his right, he noticed a pile of clothes, and shoes situated under the chair. Who brought them there was a good questioned, but he assumed it was a nurse, considering the note placed on top of them reading ‘ _Lance McClain’_ , a name that felt familiar? It was familiar. It was his name.

He took it in his liberty to get changed, and after doing so, rushed to the door of the room. Before even thinking about leaving, he wondered. What if they know? What if someone saw him and brought him back here? He was not in the right state of mind, but he wanted to be alone. Just, not in here. He turned around and looked at the window. They were only on the ground floor; it would be easy to leave through there without anyone noticing for a long time.

So, he left through the window, letting his shoes touch the soft ground of sand, after all, they were in a desert, though he was unsure why. Before he knew it, he ran. He ran away, without turning back, and without closing the window behind him.

……………………………

“We are currently unsure when he is going to wake up, but when he does, we are unsure about how he will perceive any of this.” A Doctor explained after being approached for the 3rd time by the group of 8, some of them still wearing their bandages. She sat down on her office chair as some of them paced and held faces of uncertainty, watching her bring up the boy’s files on her screen and turning it to face them.

Hunk and Veronica showed clear worry and fear. Shiro, Allura and Pidge tried showing a straight face, but their emotions were just as clear; leaving Coran and Adam to keep their reassurance of the situation, and Keith who really did not know how to feel.

“I’ll explain it again. After hitching that thing out of the atmosphere, he received most of the damage. In terms of the human body, the right arm tends to be more dominate. Meaning, that the damage he would have received was greater than what you all did. Though they are all equally as bad, the range of the explosion began closer to the right arm Voltron where he was situated. He would be pushed back at a much greater speed with a greater impact. Furthermore, there already seemed to be quite some damage from the crash with the lieutenant.” She explained in detail, looking towards the boy’s sister.

“But when is he going to wake up. Is he even going to wake up” Hunk questioned nervously, as tears threatened to leave his eyes?

“And what do you mean by ‘how he will perceive any of this’?” Pidge asked as she leaned her hands on the doctor’s desk, closing their faces together as if she was interrogating them.

“Your friend will be just fine. It’s just that…” She drifted off, hesitant to answer.

“Just what? Come on, just tell us!”

“Guys! Calm down.”

“I am not going to-”

“Let her finish speaking.” Shiro tried his best to calm them all down, but the fear was evident on all their faces. Even his own.

“Right well, by the extent of things, there seems to be some blockage in his memory and-”

“Wait for memory? As in he will not remember us? Does he have amnesia?” Veronica questioned, with more fear and worry in his voice.

“Yes and no. As I was saying he doesn’t-”

“Yes and no? Wait, explain the first part. Blockage in his memory?” Allura asked, making the doctor sigh as she pulled up some scans of the blue paladin for them to see.

“This is a scan we did of his brain. We did the same thing for all of you, however, he was more worrisome. You see if you look at it in the first glance, nothing seems wrong. There is nothing that shows he would have any memory problems. However, we did a second scan. It was a mistake actually, we thought that his brain scan was lost, but here it is now. What was odd, was that the second scan did not come out this clear.” As hit one of her keys on her keyboard, they watched as the image changed. It was more blurry, more fragmented.

“We didn’t know what it was, so we did it again and ensured yours were correct and they were, but McClain’s. Something was clearly wrong, and we are still unsure. We don’t think any of this is natural, but we are trying our best to figure it out.” She explained further, frowning at the strained faces that looked at the diagram.

“What was the second thing you were about to say?” Adam remembered that there was another issue she was about to explain, and clearly, the others did not look like they were aware of the second thing.

“Right well, the possibility of him waking with no memory is uncertain, but we believe it could happen. The issue is, we do not know to what extent. The environment he is currently in is already quite scary considering no one is there for him and bring ‘new’ faces could care him further.”

“What do you mean no one is there?” Keith pressed on.

“Well, currently, his sister is visiting him, but there does not seem to be anyone else there. That can be quite frightful if the only faces he remembers is his families. He requires familiarity.”

“But he said he had a huge family? We saw them when we first came here, they-” Pidge gasped as she tried to explain. Surely, they were his family, right? He interacted with them like they were.

“I’m sorry but according to his details, the only family he biologically has is his sister Veronica.” They all turned to Veronica, whose face was eating her away, diverting her attention to the floor and rubbing her arm. She did not want to explain. It was not her place to, and Coran could tell.

“Why bring this up?” Coran questioned as he found it quite odd, they would mention this out of the blue.

“Attentive, I see. Last night around 9:48 pm alarms were set off from the first floor. I am aware that you were all sent home after final check-ups yesterday, so you wouldn’t have known.”

“What are you saying?” Shiro questioned further.

“Someone from Room 18E in the east wing set off the heart monitor; it happens when there is no source of the pulse to record. Flat-line, basically.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“If it were that simple, I would be here apologising for your condolences but I’m afraid not.”

“Then what happened?” Keith asked.

“No one was there.”

“What?”

“Lance McClain is proclaimed to be missing.”


	2. Remember His Element

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Element  
> /ˈɛlɪm(ə)nt/  
> noun  
> 1\. An essential or characteristic part of something abstract.  
> 2\. any of the five substances regarded as the fundamental constituents of the world in ancient and medieval philosophy.
> 
> Example: “Drawings of elements. Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Metal. It was all so familiar. But he could not understand until he touched the element of water.”

“We looked all across the grounds, he isn’t here” Shiro confirmed as they all met in a conference room, looking through camera footage.

“It’s like he’s disappeared.”

“My brother can’t just, not be here.”

“We know, and we are doing our best to find him,” Allura reassured holding her hand on her shoulder, in a sisterly fashion. Support. She was trying to hold them steady.

“He could be anywhere. He- if he doesn’t remember anything we can’t just sit around and do nothing. I know we are trying, but I’m just scared.” She whispered the last part, as she ran her hand through her hair and sighed.

“I feel the same way.” Hunk explained almost instantly. Everyone was scared, but for her, this was her brother. She only just got him back, but it felt like she was losing him again. The others knew the feeling, but not all of them could explain.

“I know what it feels like, Heck I would think most of us here do. I lost someone very important to me and lost 4 amazing students. I never thought I would see any of them again. And to think now, I’m losing one of my best students.” And it was all true for Adam. He never thought that he would lose someone so special to him, and then to lose cadets that were in his training. Especially now, considering one of them is lost and probably scared out of his mind.

“Losing someone once is hard enough but losing them again makes you feel the universe is playing tricks on you,” Keith explained without a stutter in one clean breath. It made sense to him. For him, losing Shiro once was already hard enough. That was his brother. Someone who cared for him. And to lose him a second time. He had got him back, but they were playing with dangerous waters. Of course, they all knew something could happen, but never like that. He felt like it was his fault, and he knew Veronica felt the same way.

“It’s not your fault. No one’s fault. He protected us. In his own selfless way, that really makes me want to choke him.” He scoffed playfully, unearning small smiles and soft laughs.

“We don’t need to take the weight of blame, because there would have been nothing for us to do to stop him. I kind of understand why he got to fly the Red lion as well as the blue lion. He’s stubborn.” He laughed lightly, along with the others.

“He’s just as stubborn as you.” Hunk continued.

“Which is why he’s going to be okay. He isn’t gone… completely. Just lost. And we’re here to help him”

“My brother is okay.”

………………………….

Lance was not okay. He was currently lost in the middle of a desert, near nothing but a cave and vast rubble of huge rocks and craters. He was lost. He did not know why he was here, but when he ran, this was the first place he thought to go to. A cave?

The entrance was somewhat blockaded, but something was telling him to go inside. He tried moving some of them around, but after picking up 4 of them, a rumbling sound came piles of rocks, making him move to the side as dust and sand flew into the air, making him cough. Soon enough, after fanning the air, he looked back to see the entrance open. Leaving him to do the only feasible thing in the dead of night.

Walk inside of it.

It was not like he had anywhere else to go. This felt right to him. This felt familiar. Normal. This felt like home. Besides, it was late at night and he had just run all the way here. Lance was tired, and he could feel it, as he sat down deeper into the cave, ignoring the huge hole in the middle of the cave. He let his knees bend closer to his chest and wrapped his arms around them as he drifted asleep to the dead of darkness, Feeling the warmth of blue flames and red waves consume him.

…

Waking up to the glaring sun, trying to microwave his face was not the ideal way to wake up, considering prominent pain in the back of his mind. After scratching his cheek, he let his eyes open, as he rubbed the corners of them, and looked in front of him. Now that it was clear, he could see the engraved images along the wall, and the massive hole in the middle of the cave, that he wondered how he missed.

 _Maybe,_ as the thought came to him, _I’ve been here before._ He thought before standing up and letting his fingers graze along the walls. Images of lions, 5 to be precise. Drawings of elements. Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Metal. It was all so familiar. But he could not understand until he touched the element of water. It was calling to him, and as it did flashes of a blue lion ran through his mind.

Beneath. Something was beneath him. Right? It would explain the massive hole in the ground.

_No, something was beneath here. But not anymore._

With a steadier mind, he knew that it would be wise to go back. He would need to if he wanted to find out who he was. He had to go back. He has to remember.

……………………..

“Guys, I think you might want to take a look at this,” Pidge called as she looked over the surveillance in disbelief.

“What is it… Is that- Lance?” Shiro questioned, confused by the footage.

“Woah Woah Pidge when was this taken?” Hunk asked as they looked at the footage of the young boy walking through the halls of the garrison.

“Yeah, it looks like he knows where he is going,” Keith remarked.

“You guys… This is live!”

“WHAT!”

“Are you sure?”

“Does this mean he remembers?” They watched as he opened a door. And quite literally, a door to where they were.

“Hello?”

…

“Hello?” Lance quietly called as he let his head peak through the door. His head was running with confusions yet again, but something was telling him to be here. Something pushed him to be here. He looked to the faces in front of him, unable to recognise them. All except one, whose name was at the tip of his tongue.

“Ve-Veronica?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there,
> 
> I was going to leave a note at the end of chapter 1 but oh well.
> 
> I started writing this so I can improve my writing and also for fun because of Covid is draining everybody's social life. I would appreciate any comments on what I am doing so I can improve it later. 
> 
> So don't be shhhyyyyyy. Leave a comment pleaaseee!


	3. Familiarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Familiarity  
> /fəmɪlɪˈarɪti/  
> noun  
> 1\. Close acquaintance with or knowledge of something.   
> 2\. Relaxed friendliness or intimacy between people.  
> Example: “I got inside, and it felt safe. It felt familiar. I needed familiar and Nothing was!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any confusions, in the first chapter, they thought that Lance was potentially kidnapped because there was no evidence that Lance would even wake up from his coma. No one actually thought that he would just simply wake up and yeet himself out of the room.
> 
> Also, this chapter is short, but I'm making it up in chapter 4 and 5.

“Ve-Veronica?” It was like music to her ears to hear her brothers voice again, so much so she instantly hugged him, astonished by the sudden appearance. But for Lance, it was a shock to the heart.

“Lance you’re okay! Thank goodness. We were so worried you wouldn't remember anything.” He sighed in relief, but slowly let go by the words he said next.

“I- I don’t.” He let out, looking out to the in front of him. Familiar. It needed to be familiar. He had to remember. But he could not.

“I- I didn’t even know your name till I said it. I don’t even know who you are.” Everyone was shocked, to say the least. Of course, they expected this, but with such hopes only minutes before. Veronica herself did not know how to explain it to her brother, and she was already in disbelief.

“No. Lance No! You need to try to remember. You remembered my name, didn’t you? You know who I am, You have to!” He had to remember, he is missing so much, he is so scared. And know with the sudden pressure of the girl’s hands on his shoulders, and the fear within her eyes sent another wave of distraught.

Letting her fingers slide down his arms, he whispered tearfully, _I’m your sister,_ to no one but herself, after being urged to step aside as Coran settled the boy down on a chair.

“My boy, can you tell us how you got here? We assumed you were kidnapped or taken; No one was sure when you would wake up. ” The room was empty, no one was there but the 8- well 9 of them, so he did not feel uneasy, just unfamiliar. That was all he felt, and it was killing him. He needed to say something, anything for someone to understand.

“I wasn't… I woke up, in the Hospital. I was confused. Scared. I wanted to leave, and I did. I left through the window and ran. Everything was unfamiliar. I kept running, I didn’t know where I was going or for how long. I’m sure that it was at least a couple of hours. And I… I found a cave. I needed to get inside of it, but I didn’t know why. I got inside and it felt safe. It felt familiar. I needed familiar and Nothing was!” He began to shake, as the others listened, trying to grasp ahold of the situation.

“I didn’t know where I was. Why I was there, but it was safe. When I woke up, I could think more clearly. I knew I had to come back because I need to know what happened.”

“When you came here, did you know we were here? Do you know who we are?” Pidge asked hoping they could get any notion of him remembering.

“No! I just- I just walked. It was like a voice was telling me to come here.”

“A Voice? Could it have been the blue or red lion?” Allura questioned, more to herself than anyone, but Lance perked at the last few words.

“Lions. That’s what I saw in the cave.”

“You what?” Coran and Allura simultaneously questioned, though others in the room did not seem that bothered by it.

“Engraved In the wall, I touched them and images of them just came to me. Robotic. Yeah, they were like giant robots, but they felt, protective?”

“He went to the blue lion’s cave, that’s where we all were before we left.” Hunk recalled.

“Anything else?” Shiro asked, hoping there was more they could get on.

“I don’t know!” They could tell he was getting agitated by now.

“Can we stop with the questioning now?” He asked scratching his arm. Everyone was distressed. This was all new information to consider. Yes, they were thankful he wasn’t kidnapped, as they originally thought, but they were clearly aware that there were major gaps in the young boy’s memory. In fact, one giant gap that consisted of everything!

“Of course, but you promise that you will let a doctor see you in the morning, okay?” Coran asked as he patted the boy’s knee.

“I think that’s for the best. Can I- is there a room I can go to.” He questioned looking to all of them.

“Yeah, I’ll take you.” Keith volunteered, giving the others silent relief. It was not that they did not want to take him. They all just felt pained that their friend was like this. But that was not going to stop him from trying to help.

Lance was stubborn to find out what happened and heal. And Keith was stubborn to make sure he did. A perfect pair really.

As the two left, the tension in the room only grew as the same questions remained on their mind. What do they do? Do you think he'll ever remember?

“There has to be some chance. Something. He remembered Veronica’s name.” Hunk explained as he tried to convince himself that everything would be okay.

Would it be okay though? This whole situation felt new. If they could not do anything now, what would they do if Voltron were needed again? They stopped a war, but it felt like their battles were still ongoing.

“Rest assure,” Allura voiced, “We are going to do everything to make sure our friend remembers us all.”

…………..

As the two walked through the halls, Keith couldn’t help but noticed to hesitance in the other boy, as he continued to walk behind him, arms holding his elbows. Wanting to create less awkwardness, he began to walk next to the other, ushering him to talk to him.

“It’s frustrating isn’t it?” He asked. Frankly, he wasn’t sure why he said that of all things, but he continued anyway. “I can understand that this whole situation is getting under your skin.” He waited to see if the other would speak, but he stayed silent, closing his eyes slightly as they continued.

“All of us want to help you because you’re our friend and you are important to us. So, believe me when I say that it is only in our good intention that we asked those questions. I guess it was a little too much. But if there is one thing, I know about you,” He trailed on, earning the others attention as he turned his attention to the other boy. “You wouldn’t stop until one of us remembered. So, don’t think that we will give up before you do.”

“Thank you...Kei-th?” Lance uttered, surprised that he could remember the name. “You remember my name too?” Keith replied with the same surprise.

“I think… I think so. I remembered someone else before too. Veronica?” Lance paused as Keith stood outside a room; he assumed it was his. They stood there for a while as they continued their conversation.

“Yeah, that’s right Veronica. You said her name. And she’s your…?” He tried to help. _She’s your what lance?_ She was something to him. A friend? No, she was more. Family? “My sister. She’s my sister.”

“Yeah, that's right!” Keith answered smiling at the improvement, realising his hands her held on the other boy’s shoulder. “See? If anyone can do this. It’s you. You’re already remembering.” He pulled his arms away letting the doors to the room open.

“Go rest. Someone will check up on you in the morning.” He said before letting the other nod and walk into the room. Saying their goodbyes in such normality as if nothing ever happened.

It was a chance. It was a confirmation. It was evident that everything would be okay because Lance shows he can remember. He will remember.


	4. Blue Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue  
> /bluː/  
> Adjective  
> 1\. Of a colour intermediate between green and violet, as of the sky or sea on a sunny day.  
> 2\. (Of a person or mood) melancholy, sad, or depressed.  
> 3\. Is also associated with meanings of depth, trust, loyalty, sincerity, wisdom, confidence, stability, faith and intelligence
> 
> Example: “ He let his eyes drift in front of him, though he was unaware of how any of this was possible, as he watched an orb glow and flicker in a promising blue light. I am always watching over you. We are watching over you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah... it's only going to get more angsty from here 👀.
> 
> also, I unconsciously wrote 2021 words and waited till today to post this chapter. XD

Was its cliché for the Paladin to seek calmness in his colours. Sure, he was known as the paladin of the red lion, but he was, and is, always the blue paladin, whether he was aware of it or not. What he was aware of was the colours of the sky and sea, circling his mind as he slept in tranquillity.

So yes, although it was clearly cliché, it was the first colour he saw upon waking up from his bed, and the first colour to provide him with a sense of stability, voicing him to move away from his worrisome thoughts. Instead, he felt the need to remember the names he recalled the day before

Veronica.

Keith.

Are those really the only names I can remember? He thought to himself. Apparently, his thoughts were spoken out loud, as someone, who he had not noticed, entered the room.

“Don’t beat yourself over it.” A boy he recognised from the night before as ‘bandana boy’ stated as he brought over a tray of food and water. “Here, you must be hungry.” The Boy giggled as if he could hear Lance’s thoughts as he looked at him. Walking behind him was a lady dressed in a white coat, he assumed was a doctor who settled her bag on a desk, before rummaging through it.

“Bandana Boy, That’s a new one.” He laughed, making him blush in embarrassment.

“Did I really say that out loud? I’m sorry.” He groaned as he covered his face with his hands.

“Hey now, don’t apologise Lance. You’re my friend, you don’t need to apologise for giving me a nickname just to remember me. Besides, it’s a lot more creative than a cinnamon roll.”

“Nothing is more creative than Cinnamon Roll, Hunk.” He replied almost instantaneously, before looking at the shocked eyes. “Oh my… Hunk? That’s your name!” Happy by the improvement that he was now able to remember 3 names, the doctor sat beside him, commenting on the revelation.

“This is good news. Your brain can recall certain things, even though you feel you cannot. Almost like an impulse. It recognises a pattern and tries to make you comfortable. It’s the simplest way that I am able to explain it. I’m Dr Elizabeth Bliss; Bliss for short.” She smiled, causing ease in Lance, and evidently in Hunk’s. “Am I right to say something like this has happened before?” She asked facing him, but it was Hunk that answered.

“When we watched the footage of Lance walking into the Garrison, it was as if he remembered every hall and room from before Voltron. Oh, and he recalled Veronica’s name out of nowhere. That’s 2 names!” He exclaimed as he let the other continue to eat his breakfast.

“3 actually.” Lance interrupted as he drank some water before placing the tray to the side. “I remembered Keith’s when we walked back, but…” He still could not remember anything apart from names. Knowing well that this was the case, the doctor as him to lay down and close his eyes.

“This activity doesn’t do much. It’s just to see where you stand and what can be done in order to get your memories back. Everyone works differently. Exposure… Reliving events… Knocking their heads against a wall.” She joked making the two chuckles. “The most important part is to associate the emotions and images you notice together. Whether it is a black space of colour, a person or anything to be honest; I need to know how you feel okay?” She asked, earning a small hum from the boy.

“Mr Garett you might want to take a seat, this could take some time.”

…….

Rather than sitting down, Hunk left the room to discard the tray of food back to the canteen. He was happy to know his friend could remember his name, but he only hoped he could remember more. As he walked into the canteen, placing the tray of food to the side, he grabbed his own tray of food before sitting down with the others who looked quite drained.

“Hey.” He smiled, sitting beside Pidge, who was busy poking at their food as if it were goo. “You know, I thought there could literally be nothing worse than goo, but man. When the doctor said she ordered porridge, she did not lie. This stuff is rank.”

“What’s wrong with Porridge?” Keith asked as he pulled his spoon to his mouth after yawning into his hand. “It is literally wet and chunky goo!”

“Hey…Doctor’s orders.” Hunk chuckled as he watched the distaste run down their face. “Well, the doctor can go suck my non-existent d-”

“GOOD MORNING YOUNG PALADINS! HOPE YOU ALL SLEPT WELL!” A voice, none other than Coran’s screamed causing Hunk and Keith to jolt and drop their spoons, and Pidge to slam their hands on the table, flipping their bowl of ‘wet and chunky goo’ to tip all over the table. “Why now, look at the mess you made number 5, hope you’re planning on cleaning that up. I shall see you later after I check on number 3!”

“…”

“At least you don’t need to worry about eating it now.” Keith joked, before getting up to put his tray away to follow Coran. His abruptness making Hunk laugh and Pidge even more speechless.

“I- You- Keith! You cannot just make a joke out of nowhere and just leave! Come back here and help me clean up this mess. Keith you asshole!”

……………

“Okay, first task. I want you to let go of yourself. Try to think of nothing and let the images come to you instead of forcing them. I want you to take 2 deep breaths before we start. I will give you a couple of minutes to think back on the image, then we will go onto the next task. There are only 3 so, after all are completed, I will need you to tell me what you see. Can you do that for me?” Dr Bliss explained to Lance before he nodded his head, taking deep breaths as she advised.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

If he thought, he saw blue before. Then this must be something else. He felt as if he was standing on space and oblivion, but stars and constellations surrounded him, making him feel calm and collective of his thoughts. Safe. You are safe. He repeated to himself, but it was another voice. He let his eyes drift in front of him, though he was unaware of how any of this was possible, as he watched an orb glow and flicker in a promising blue light. I am always watching over you. We are watching over you. He was told before the sudden voice of the Doctor called him back and made it disappear.

“Okay Lance, Task 2. I want you to interpret that image. Whatever you see and feel, I want you to try and think of something that relates to it. Absolutely anything okay?” _Interpret_. How could he? He was unsure, but he tried.

Thinking about the orb again, he tried to recall something with a similar feeling. It was bright, warm, and insanely blue. _Was it blue? No not the colour… the lion._ Hearing a heart-warming roar, he turned around to see the most beautiful and adoring animal. Her eyes glowed, and Lance could feel the stability and confidence from within her. _You will come back to us, Paladin. You will come back home._

“It is okay if you want to stop here.” By now, Bliss could see tears form at the edge of his eyes and was quite astonished by the results. She was unsure if the third task needed to happen. Lance, however, was determined. There was only one more task left and he knew this, so he continued. “Right then, I need you to try and reach out to whatever is in front of you… but I also need you to think about those three names from before okay?”

And so he did. He felt as if he was walking closer to the blue lion, but it was his mind that brought them together. He extended his arm out towards her and began to recall the names in the order he first said them. _Veronica. Keith. Hunk. Veronica. Keith. Hunk._

He continued to do so until the lion roared once more, sending waves of different images. He did not understand them. He did not understand what was happening in them. But he could hear his voice talk to the new person he saw.

…

_“All right, look alive, team! Pidge, track coordinates”_

_“Copy”_

_…_

_“Hunk, you big, gassy genius!”_

_“It’s pretty fascinating, really. Th-The wavelength looks like this”_

_…_

_“I-I don’t know. Shiro, you’re the senior officer here. What should we do?”_

_“Whatever’s happening, the lion knows more than we do. I say we trust it, but we’re a team now. We should decide together.”_

_…_

_“I’m not sure but I bet it’s Keith’s fault”_

_“Say whatever you’ve got to say to make yourself feel better… after getting us stuck on the other side of a wormhole!”_

_“I’LL STICK YOU IN A WORMHOLE!”_

_…_

_“Then it’s settled. Allura, you ride with me. One of you take the old guy.”_

_…_

_“Coran, what’s happening?! I can’t see!”_

_“You must learn to see through your Lions’ eyes. The goal is to pull up right before you crash into the ground. Feel what the lion feels!”_

_…_

_“Veronica please tell me it’s not true”_

_“I’m sorry Lance.”_

_…_

Lance opened his eyes in an instant, heaving endless amounts of air, as the only thing he could see was the ceiling. He wanted to close them again to blink away the tears that burnt his eyes and cheeks as they continued to flow down. He wasn’t sure how long he was in that state, but he tried to regain composure only for his breathing to became more irregular until he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder to bring him up from his laying position.

“-nce…. Lance!” He could hear someone call his name, but everything felt out of focus.

………..

“Oh no, Mr Mcclain can you hear me?” This was not a reaction she was prepared for. Watching his eyes shot open out of the blue was quite concerning. Instead of trying to push him out of his state, Dr Bliss rushed out of the room and called through the hallway. “I’m in need of assistance!” As she shouted, she conveniently met eyes with two individuals that she had conversed with before, freezing near the end of the hallway. “Quick Hurry!”

If her hypothesis were correct, she could not move the boy until there is any sign of him regaining control and poise. Moving him would only disrupt the process. After walking back into the room and ensuring there was no harm to the Paladin, the two immediately rushed into the room, concerned by the outcome. “What happened?” Coran questioned, walking closer to the boy, and examining his eyes, as did Keith, who unconsciously held the other boy’s hand.

Lance’s eyes were not the usually soothing blue they remembered it to be. It was glowing. Fluorescent. “What does that mean? Is he okay?” Keith asked as he tried to keep his distance, knowing very well that some space was required. “I think your first theory about this not being a normal thing was correct,” Coran stated looking towards Bliss, and then back to Lance. His voice was become more rasp, breathing still irregular, but his eyes began to squint. “I think we can move him now. Sit him up!” Bliss urged.

Keith wrapped his free arm around his shoulders and pushed him up, whilst still holding his hand. “Lance, can you hear me? Lance!” He called, holding higher on the Blue Paladin’s hand as he leaned him on his chest to hold up him straight. His breathing became more firm, more controlled. Soon, they could hear sniffling from the young boy who was drifting out of consciousness. There was nothing they could do but let him rest.


	5. Skies of Cuba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sky  
> / skʌɪ/  
> noun   
> plural noun: skies  
> 1\. The region of the atmosphere and outer space seen from the earth  
> 2\. Heaven; Heavenly power
> 
> Example: “Wrapping her arms around the boy, trying to mimic the soothing circles and embrace of their mother, Lance knew that there was only one reply that could be said under the Skies of Cuba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised I have updated the story around every 2-3 days.   
> I don't know if I am still gonna do that because I have exams for the next 2 weeks DESPITE covid. But considering I have already written most of the next chapter... it just might 
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Silent waves rocked silver suds and indigo ripples of the ocean. They danced with the breeze of the sky, swaying as they washed the feet of the coastline. The sand itself felt like crowned jewels, as they glistened under the dawn of the bleeding sun, and the clouds eased it with its shadowing white blankets.

The early hours of the morning left palm trees to stand still as they continued to sleep in the summer heat and the barren lands of leisure. This made it the perfect place for a little boy, perhaps only 14, to lay against the sand, and breath the salty air of his home. His feet tickled as they dug into the beach floor, frozen as the waters washed over them seconds later. It was odd to sit so close to the edge, but it felt right.

_Never walk too far in the ocean unless you can be pulled out._

_­_ The boy would be told on multiple occasions by his adorning mother, though he could not understand how someone could walk into the ocean. He would swim. Of course, the little boy would ask his loving mother how it was even possible, only to earn a soft chuckle and a hesitant caress against his cheek before she walked away.

_She walked away._

She was always in reach, but now she was not close enough for him to hold hands and never let go. It was not like she was never there for him. No. She was there when he won his first award in school. She was there when he became a top student and was honoured with a scholarship to a school far away. She was there to support him when he, so desperately, wanted to go to the Galaxy Garrison while his father disagreed. She was there with him when his sister became a pilot instructor, and when he became top of his class for the Cargo Pilot Programme.

So why wasn’t she here now? She would not get to see him home for Christmas or New Years. She would not get to see him grow older and graduate his programme. She would not get to see him go on his own missions, to achieve so much more. To see him when he has his own family. She would not be there, and it made the little boy cry dry tears and hold staggering breaths. And he did not quite believe it yet.

He continued to watch the clouds cover the warmth of the sun. It was easier for him to watch them, because one glance at the sea would send him back into reality, reminding him of his mother and her wisdom. He had never felt more...blue. As he stared up, hesitant to open his eyes again after tears prickled his pupils, he felt another presence beside him. A presence he knew he would have to rely on more. He still did not want to believe the story faith was writing for him.

“Veronica please tell me it’s not true” He whispered with heavy breaths and reluctant tears as he sat up looked at his sister with pleading eyes. Begging for it to be a dream. It had to be a dream. The world was too silent for it to be so loud and rude. Her only reply was tuned with her own cries and whispers. Wrapping her arms around the boy, trying to mimic the soothing circles and embrace of their mother, Lance knew that there was only one reply that could be said under the Skies of Cuba.

“I’m sorry Lance.”

………………………….

Rapidly opening his eyes and forcing himself into a sitting position was not a smart move. Lance instantly regretted it as his blood, shot through the body and flashed nausea all around him. Luckily it was just the rush of pain to his head and not his physical need to puke, though he liked to believe that the dimmed lights of the room helped to relieve him out of that.

“Easy there my boy, you don’t want to feel like you’re in a space crash, do you?” He recognised this man. He saw him in the vision he had while he was with Dr Bliss. If only he could remember what he said his name was. _Conan? Moana?... No Lance that is a movie. Caman? Co-ran? Coran._

“CORAN.” He screamed, unintentionally setting alarms in his own head.

“Yes, that is my name number 3. Don’t wear it out.” He commented quite casually as if he expected this occurrence.

“Lance, as you are feeling okay now. We thought we should leave you to rest but” The person trailed off before showing him the countless faces across the floor of the room, sitting quite uncomfortably under blankets and hard cushions. “It would seem everyone was quite reluctant to leave you alone.”

The pain in his head was beginning to ease more and allowed him to focus on the second person that was talking to him. He recognised her too. “Allura?” Her white hair and sun-kissed skin. He clearly remembered the markings on her cheeks and found it too beautiful to forget from his little vision.

She smiled and sighed softly turning her face back to the boy who just called her name. “So, I take it you have your memories back?” She questioned with hope, showing a little gleam in her eyes, wishing that the recent atrocities could just be taken away. “No… I’m sorry.” He whispered his apologies as he let his hands hold the edges of his blanket. Allura did not need to say that it was okay. She knew that it was okay. _No one can force a memory that cannot be recalled but can create new ones to remind them of the lost ones._

Inside, Lance knew it too, but he was desperate to remember. Especially now as he recalled his dream from moments ago. Clutching his blanket, he tried to bring it closer to his chest, along with his knees but was stopped when he felt the weight of heads against the edge of the bed. He laughed slightly at the faces drooling, and the messy piles of bedhead weighing his blanket down. Coran noticed this and felt the need to explain the unholiness of the sleeping Paladins and Lance’s sister.

“It has been quite a rough day. Not all of us could see you this morning. I guess this would be, as what you humans call it-”

“Humans?” Lance whispered questioning as he watched the older man point his right hand in the air.

“Killing one bird with two stones… quite barbaric.”

“I think you mean kill two birds with one stone.” Lance reasoned.

“Still a very animalistic thing to do.”

“It’s just a saying Coran.” A voice he recognised as Shiro’s, tried to explain, along with Keith. Both rubbing the corners of their eyes and stretching from their awkward positions. “Yeah, no one is killing birds here.”

“What’s this about killing birds?” Hunk asked.

“Shut up I’m trying to sleep!” The small ball of green groaned, making Lance snort as he recognised them as Pidge.

“Lance, you’re awake?” The weak voice caught all of his attention. It was slightly deeper and currently raspy, but he instantly knew who it was. This was the girl from the night before. The girl from his dream just before he woke up. This was Veronica.

The tension caught between their eyes made everyone silent, as they all tried to look for something in his eyes. Tried to see if there was some sign of him left in his eyes.“Oh my gosh, Pidge get out of my face!” Or tried to literally stick their faces in his own to catch his attention.

“YOU SAID MY NAME! HE SAID MY NAME AHH! HE REMEMBERS!”

“What the actual fuck, you were complaining about not sleeping literally two seconds ago, and now you’re acting like Lance when he sees a chihuahua wearing a sombrero.”

“But they look so cute.” He quietly debated with Hunk before seriousness started to settle in the room. After all, it was the big elephant in the room. What happened? The awkward silence was interrupted by Coran; trust him to take away all uneasy situations.

“Would you like to tell us what happened, while you were with Dr Bliss?”

“Right well,” He wanted to explain it, but how does one explain something that they cannot explain to themselves. He had to at least try right? “It was to see where my memory stood. I was supposed to close my eyes and let the memories come to me… and man did it work.”

“So, what do you remember…” His sister trailed off.

“I remember names now… Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Keith, Coran, Allura and Veronica.” He showcased his knowledge of everyone’s names by pointing to each member in the room. “I remember the lions too. Blue, red, Yellow, Green, Black. Mostly Blue. And I remember a ship?”

“The Castle of lions?” Allura asked “Yeah, I think so. I remember reaching for blue, and then some memories came. It wasn’t much, but it was something.” He explained, how he talked to pidge in the simulators, complimented Hunk on his genius, looked for advice from Shiro and argued with Keith. Though he said he was not sure what it was about, the memory caused a sour face on Keith. He told them about the visions he had of Coran and Allura, though to everyone’s amusement, he questioned why he was flirting with someone who had a sisterly Aura. Speaking about sisters, he did not Quite mention the last vision, though he let his eyes wordlessly hover to his sister.

Maybe it was because he felt the need to stick close to her, or maybe it was because the memory he dreamed of was emotional, to say the least, Lance let his hand catch Veronica is before addressing the matter. “When I said your name,” He said gently wrapping their fingers around one another. “I thought I couldn’t explain it, but then I think I dreamt of it? The memory. I do not know if it was true. I don’t think I want it to be true.”

Without even mentioning it, Veronica knew exactly which one he would be referring to. “Do you wanna talk about it?” She asked, earning a small nod from the young boy. “What did you see?” It may have been intrusive for the others to be there and listen, but they were curious, and no one was pushing them out. Call it being noisy, but it was something that they also needed to understand to help him. “The beach. Cuba… glimpse of our childhood when mom was there… then when she was not. Is she really?” Her only reaction was to nod.

“You were 14. That morning, we were preparing to leave to come back to the Garrison. She um. Passed.” And it would finally make sense to some of them as to why she was the only one recognised as biologically attached to him.

“But what about the-” Before he could finish, she replied instantly to avoid misconceptions. “That was our dad. Our stepfamily. We tried to make up, during the time you were in space. I thought maybe it was out of pity, maybe out of real care. His real intentions showed later that night. He and Lance had an argument, he walked out again”

Silence had filled the room again. But it never stayed silent for too long, not like in Lance’s dream where the only noise was the breath of wind mixed with the voices of his own and his sisters. “How did she die?” He asked unexpectedly. Whether it was the curiosity of the team, or the pleading eyes of her little brother, Veronica shiver as she said her next words.

“She fell too far into the Ocean.” 

………………

_The night never felt dull as it did. No stars were scattered in the sky, and the moon was too shy to show itself. Even in Lance’s home, the walls of every room were laced with darkness as everyone was left to slumber. All except two, who screamed whispers of confusion and hatred towards one another, even though some held love and loyalty. “You can’t just expect them to never grow! They need to be pushed to do their best because they are children Alejandro! How could you be so cruel to take this away from them?”_

_A woman, dressed in cream satin, hair curled naturally in waves even though some of them were still wet from her shower moments ago. She was quite young, roughly in her early 30’s, though her husband looked to be mature and grey._

_“I never wanted this for them to begin with! Veronica was a stretch, but you want both of them to send their lives to an early grave?” He screamed back, mixing nothing but angry and distaste. Not even concern._

_“Don’t you dare say that! This is an opportunity for them to do something they love. They have already achieved so much. Alejandro please, do not taint the glow in their starry eye.” There was much irony in her words, considering the lack of colour and emotion within her husband; even though she could not yet see it._

_“Oh, and you’re one to say, you made me leave my life behind to be with you!”_

_“But you- We. We were in love.” Was a question? Or was she trying to convince herself that he was lying? This was not the first time he had expressed this. This was not the first time he directed such hatred towards her._

_“I never loved you! I made a mistake. This is a mistake!” He screamed. With such angry, he could have woken up the entire house, but he did not. That day, he would leave and never return. He would run away from his problems and never come to apologise, not even at her own funeral._

_Her own funeral he caused; might I add._

_Her children always saw her as a loving person. A loving mother. A loving wife. A loving friend. However, never receiving love from her husband took a toll on her. She did not learn to love herself the way she loved others, and it would eventually kill her._

_For that night, she died in her last dreams, forgetting she should have moved on from the man years ago. And her ghost cried in the morning Skies of Cuba, as she watched her children break upon discovering her body._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL SUCH A LOVING PERSON IT JUST HAPPENED!!! 😖😖😭😭
> 
> I SWEAR I'LL MAKE IT UP!


	6. Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepless  
> /ˈsliːpləs/  
> Adjective  
> 1\. Characterised by or experiencing a lack of sleep.  
> 2\. Continually active or moving 
> 
> Example: “Sleepless nights have us walking. Apparently, for me, that’s walking to the edge of a cliff and finding you here on top of your lion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh okay so, I couldn't write this chapter without adding some Shadam because uh well... the last line, 
> 
> SO HERE IS SOME SOFT ANGST FOR SOFT TEARS.

Lance could not sleep. At least, not after the conversation he had over an hour ago with his sister. After holding each other and breaking into tears, everyone left him to sleep. But see, Lance just could not. He had been asleep for almost an entire day now, and that did not include the day before. He felt well-rested but emotionally tired.

He wanted to take a walk. To think about the little memories of him and his sister. It was so frustrating, to have to know what your past was without even holding the memories, but he was determined to figure it out. Right now, though, Lance needed air.

He could tell by the looks of strained smiles and grey eyes that everyone was going through a lot. Busy Garrison officers rushing through the halls, handing documents and conversing, even in the dead of night, though it was quieter and more discreet. No one could drop their work. No one could just stop everything and move on. Right?

After walking pointlessly for what felt like 15 minutes, he found a cliff. A cliff that was already occupied by a giant mountain of metal. Red metal. _Familiar._ Above the pile of red, which lance could now recognise as the Red lion, was a person with cascading black her and a red and white uniform jacket. _Keith._

“Hey!” He called out but decided to take actions into his own hands as he climbed up the side of the lion and sat next to the other boy. “Be careful Lance. You don’t want to fall and hit your head, do you?” He scolded as he reached to the boy’s arm to help him up.

“Oh please, you got yourself up here.” He pointed out laughing as he finally sat down next to him, legs crossed looking off to the sky as he let his arms help him to lean backwards. “Besides, the doctor did say that a knock to the head could bring back my memories.”

“Hmm, wanna test that theory?” Keith chuckled as he looked towards him.

“Yeah, just give me an armour of pots and pans and I’ll be ready as ever.” Lance continued, tilting his head slightly to catch the boy in his view. They held eye contact for a couple of seconds until they could not hold in their laughter.

Both took pride in their silence shortly after. It was not awkward or uneasy, in fact in was relieving. For Lance particularly, he did not want to be left alone in his own thoughts. Ironic considering it was his idea to grab some air. Then again, he felt urged by the assuring presence in the back of his mind to seek comfort in the stars. “So why are you up so late?” Lance asked, hoping to start a conversation.

“Oh uh.. y-you know, just …thinking.” He replied flustered by the sudden question. Luckily for him, Lance did not notice. “about what?” You see the thing about that question, was that Keith did not know how to answer it. Heck, with everything that was going on it was making him quite stressed. Allura was trying to find the source of the Robeast, Shiro managing his new role as the captain of the Atlas, and one of his best friends losing his memories. Said best friend was always the one to help him when he was at his breaking points, helped him to take some of the responsibility and assure him that he is okay. Lance was always there for him in moments of need, even though as he sat here with no recollection of the times he had done this for him. Keith could not explain it because, it was too amazing to ignore, yet he felt stupid that he cannot do much to help Lance, and Lance was here helping him without realising.

“I guess everything. It has been a long day. A long week.”

“3 days more like.” Lance chuckled, looking back at the sky. “It feels weird. I mean, I know I have been up there and everything. We were in space. But I can’t remember a lot of it, so it makes it feel more surreal. I want to be mad but, I know that it is coming back to me. Excruciatingly slow.”

“Yeah, honestly I don’t even think any of us managed to take the time to set it in. So, I guess you’re not the only one to feel weird. Actually, I really want to go back up there.” Keith explained, as he brought his right knee closer to his chest and hugged it with his arms.

“Why?”

“I did a lot more out there than I ever did here.”

“Like what?”

“I made friends. Family. I found out who I was and who I am. I could do none of that back here, and I certainly couldn’t do any of it without any of you.” He looked back at the other boy, his eyes instantly hovering over his sparkling blue eyes, smiling in a way that he hadn’t before. “What about you?”

“Sleepless nights have us walking. Apparently, for me, that’s walking to the edge of a cliff and finding you here on top of your lion.”

“She’s yours too you know.” Keith chuckled, then frowned as he realised that Lance likely did not remember. “Then again, I guess you don’t remember much, do you?”

Lance didn’t feel any spite or hatred in Keith’s words, but he was right. He could not remember much of his time in space. In fact, the only memories that were starting to roll in after his relationship with Veronica was a vague memory of Hunk and himself. “I came out here to think too.” He said, without seeing the concern in the other boy’s face.

“The reality of my childhood is starting to settle in, but I guess I’m still in denial of it. It doesn’t help that new memories are rolling in every time I walk through these halls.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Keith offered.

“Was I like that?”

“Sorry?”

“In space. Was I ever, I don’t know, talkative about my emotions and stuff?”

“That’s a weird ask.”

“Keith?”

“What no, not like that! I just didn’t expect you to ask it?”

“Because asking about myself is a weird-”

“NO! look, I’m not that great at words it’s just that…”

“What?” For a second Keith did not know how to phrase his answer, but the pleading eyes of his friend urged him to try. “You were never the one to talk about your issues. You would always help everyone when they needed it, but when you were hurt, you didn’t look for anyone lean on.”

“Gosh, I sound stubborn.”

“Haha yeah. But you wanna know something?” Keith asked, earning a small nod and hum from the other before continuing. “I always found it odd. You were always a social person. No matter where we were in the universe, you always had a story to tell, a person to talk to. And you knew when someone needed a hand to hold on to.” Smiling at the affectionate thought of his own friend’s smile, as he talked with others, Keith stayed silent for a few seconds before continued.

“You know, we had conversations like this all the time. Things do not always go as planned. I think that principle is set-in-stone now. But when they got really bad, you did something for everyone. I didn’t notice it till now, but then again maybe it’s because getting everyone to relax is a real job. Hunk and Allura were never this stressed, you always had something to ease them. It was so easy for you to get Pidge and Shiro to sleep. And man, It is hard. What did you even do to them?”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if I put a sleeping potion in their drinks.” Lance joked

“Honestly, neither would I. Lance, you were magical.”

“Cliché?” Lance laughed again hearing Keith’s description of himself.

“It’s true! Okay maybe not the right words, but you helped everyone. Even an idiot like me. You held onto this idea of a rivalry between us. It was annoying, at first, but I grew to find it amusing, and I know you did too! We would challenge each other to stupid matches. Like whom could last the longest in hand-to-hand combat- obviously me- and race in our lions. Your favourite one was seeing how many sentries we could knock down each mission.”

“Now hold on a minute… Hand to hand combat. Get out of here, of course, I would win!”

“Another theory we can test later pretty boy.” Keith teased as they both laughed at the instant challenge, they made between themselves.

“You also knew how to talk to me. Even here, without know Lance. You really are amazing.” He complimented more seriously this time, placing one of his hands on the other’s shoulder. “You know, from what Veronica told us about your mom… You are a lot like her. I think she would be proud of the person you are today. No. I know she is proud of you. She is watching you from the stars Lance, and she has had your back this whole time. I know the memory feels surreal. I felt like that when I first lost my dad. But when you have people to rely on, people to talk to, the pain is a lot easier to face.”

Lance could not tell if he was crying or if the pain of trying to stop them was hurting his eyes, but he let his attention divert to Keith’s hand on his shoulder, grabbing it in his own and squeezing it as it looked at it in his lap. “Thank you, Keith.”

…………………………

“Can’t sleep?”

“Never could,” Shiro replied, as he continued to walk down the endless garrison halls, now with the presence another. “You know, I guess it goes without saying, but we haven’t really talked about everything, you know since…”

“I never expected that you wanted to. A lot has happened, a lot is happening. I don’t want to force you because I know that you eventually will.” Adam reassured as they both continued to walk down the halls together. “You say that like I haven’t changed.”

“Well, I mean, you have changed. There is no doubt about that, considering not all of you came back to Earth.” He commented jokingly but showed a slight frown in his smile. He earned a chuckle from the other but kept his serious look. “Even though you came back looking different, it doesn’t mean you are a different person. In fact, from the short, while you have been back, you have been nothing short a strong and caring leader. You always put the needs of the team before you. You came back, with your scars and are still standing. It’s okay to not want to talk about it.”

And he was right. Shiro did not have to talk about his experiences if he did not want to, but at the same time, he knew that the only way to be better was to share his experiences on others. Whether that was tomorrow, in a month or even a couple of years. “It’s okay to take time, so long as you remember that there are people here who are still going to stand by your side.”

“So you’re really not going to ask me about this?” Shiro asked, lowering his head to his newly found arm, hovering in mid-air, silently humming its dim blue light. “You’re not the slightest curious?”

“Of course, I am curious? I want to know what you went through. I want to know how you lived through it, and I want to know what great things you did up there. But Takashi Shirogane, more than anything, I want to know that you are okay. And even if the answer is no that is not going to change anything. Our relationship was rocky when you di- Left, and during that time I could not help but constantly feel like I let you down. Myself down. Us down.” The man now paused in his steps, placing his hand on Shiro’s shoulder, receiving straight eye contact with him.

“I don’t want to lose you again. So even if we drift apart and you decide ‘Adam, I can’t do this anymore’, I still want to be there for you from afar, knowing that I at least tried this time. After all, it was my fault in the first place.” He let his hand fall down and continued walking. He wasn’t walking very fast. He was reachable, and Shiro was thankful for that.

“It wasn’t your fault. I made a decision and-”

“Oh don’t say it was your fault!”

“Okay, I won’t!” He chuckled, allowing them to walk sleeplessly through the halls. “I was going to say maybe we both made a mistake, and maybe some mistakes can be used to make something greater.” He smiled as they watched a boy in blue and a boy in a red cross path with them wordlessly with closed eyes and refrained yawns.

“The universe sometimes gives us a second chance to make up for them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, let me know if there is a particular memory you want Lance to remember...  
> because right now I'm planning a real dick move. :3


	7. Calm and Collective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calm  
> / kɑːm/  
> Adjective  
> 1\. Not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other strong emotions  
> 2\. (Of the weather) pleasantly free from wind.  
> Example: “Calm and Collective Keith. Calm and Co- “NO! I YES MEANS! I- YES!” Fuck!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is possibly a filler.
> 
> BTW, anything in bold and italics is the author voice. 
> 
> You'll see what I mean. :))

“Morning everyone. Hope you all slept well.” Allura said as she sat down, holding a dull pink mug in her hands, drinking a warm blend of earthling tea she has come to enjoy. “This is very nice.”

“That’s very British of you.” Pidge snorted doing the same, but with their own strong cup of pure black coffee, gulping it in one straight slurp. “Coffee is what you need around here.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to do that Pidge.” Hunk explaining with horror as he tried to push the mug away from them, before getting swatted by their hand. “I don’t know about Pidge but I’m guessing you slept well?”

“To be honest I did not. I am still trying to find answers on the Robeast. Romelle has been a darling helping me, and nothing can describe what Coran has done as well.” She explained, but not without them noticing the smile peeking from the edge of her lips. Allura then turns distraught as she held her cheek in one hand. “And then there is Lance.”

“No updates on how to help him then?” Hunk questioned frowning at the remembrance of their last visit. “Actually, Coran is trying to find a stimulus to help him. He’s afraid that he might have side effects every time a memory comes to him.” She lowers her mug to the table and leaning her other elbow on the table as she ran both of her hands through her hair and sighs. “I just wish there was something we could do to help.”

“Well, Hunk was thinking we could re-live some of their moments from the garrison, and I was thinking it would be cool to build a memory headset. You know, kind of like the one we used on the castle for bonding exercises. It is going to take some time though. I never really took a good look at them.”

“That might just actually work! We could also show him our memories of him. How long do you think it will take?”

“Maybe about 3 days.” Pidge yawned nonchalantly, answering Allura’s question. “That quick?”

“Well, hypothetically with zero sleep, 20 gallons of monster and 50 cups of Coffee-”

“50!”

“-anything is possible.”

“you possibly think you’re trying to kill yourself?” Hunk interrupted, concerned by the alarming sounds of caffeine addiction she was explaining.

“Nah.”

“Pidge!”

“Fine. A week. Minimum. I just really want to help.” Shiro and an oddly happy Keith had already sat at the table as they listened to Pidge’s worry. “We all do but driving yourself on energy drinks and coffee won’t do anything.” Shiro scolded.

“It worked for me.” Keith stated as Pidge, gave Shiro the ‘see, I told you’ Stare. “That doesn’t count anymore, you’re half-alien.” “Damn. Tough argument. Sorry, Pidge he’s right. You need sleep if you really want to help Lance.”

 _Oh, ho ho Keith._ Pidge thought mischievously as she turned looked directly at him drinking Coffee because it was only right for her to win this. “You mean so we can make him _magical_ again.”

Spit-take.

“How the FUCK!” He screamed as he chocked, coughing out his drink as it spilt on him.

“How the fuck what?” They questioned, with a straight face that everyone could recognise as their ‘shit-grinning face’.

“Be careful, wouldn’t want to let the ‘pretty boy’ overhear you.” Pidge cackled lowly as Keith blushed deeply and turned around to see Lance coming towards them. The redness from his cheeks grew to the tips of his ears as he looked back to the giggling group in front of him. “Shut up! It’s not like that!” He whispered between his teeth, trying hard not to shout.

“The tips of your ears tell a different story.” Shiro snorted. 

“Shiro!”

…

“Morning. Uhm, is everything alright?” Lance noticed the flushed pink that ran over Keith’s face. **_If only you knew Lance._**

 _Calm and Collective Keith. Calm and Co-_ “NO! I YES MEANS! I- YES!” _Fuck!_

Things were not looking out for the poor boy. His composure was just off. His face was red, he was looking everywhere but Lance and he looked so tense. It was like he was trying to devote his life you the table, by holding the ends of it and never letting go. Lance couldn’t even tell if the others knew what was happening because they held their faces in their hands.

So, they were disappointed in Keith? **_No Lance_** _._ Or Keith was upset… Or Sick, **_God freaking damn it._**

“Did you really get sick from last night?” Lance asked, expecting Keith to avoid answering the question as he sat down, shoulder touching his. “I mean I don’t understand how it was pretty hot.” What he didn’t expect was coughs and chocked laughter coming from the others around them. 

“AH WHAT NO- IM FINE! HAHAHAHAHA” He screamed trying to block out the others, and their whispering of ‘ooh's’ and ‘aww’s’. “Okay, no need to scream.”

“Is everything okay with you, Lance?” Hunk diverted, straining on the ‘you’ In his question. _You Saint._ Keith wordlessly expressed as he eased slowly. _So much for calm and collective._ Everyone also calmed down as they saw Lance’s face drop slightly. “Yeah, I just, I really want to remember.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself so much about it. We’ll get them back.”

“Keith’s right. And don’t think we won’t help you Kiddo.”

“Yeah, we already have something in mind!” Pidge reminded, “It might take some time, but we were thinking, we could re-live some of your memories.”

“Okay that’s cool and everything, but I don’t have any memories to live.”

“Yeah, but we do! Of you!” Pidge replied. “And I know all your favourite spots in the Garrison” Hunk joined in. “Oh, and your sister must have Photo Album we can look through. I’ve never seen baby Lance”

“Oh, how adorable, I would love to see that” Allura awed at the image. “I would love to see you all as children.”

“Why? Just look at Pidge, we were like that.” Keith snorted. “Chose your words carefully Keith, before I give you a genuine sleeping potion.”

“What did you not hear? You know what no. Nevermind. Don’t answer that.”

“Do I wanna know?” Lance asked worryingly.

“No.”

“Okay then. Do you really think it will help?” Though Lance did not say what he was referring to, they all knew what he was talking about. Would it make him remember, or would it just be pointless? As far as he knew, they were coming back to him slowly and randomly.

“We don’t know until we try.” Shiro believed, as well as everyone around him. They will not know, but its better trying, then doing nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The concept of Pidge Knowing and Seeing all is just *Chef's Kiss* to me.
> 
> Will I explain it? ...Let it be a mystery.


	8. The Monster From The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monster  
> / ˈmɒnstə/  
> Noun  
> 1\. A large, ugly, and frightening imaginary creature.  
> 2\. A thing of extraordinary or daunting size
> 
> Example: “You’re the monster. You should be dead not her.”

“So, what. You wanna tell me this was my fault!” The boy jolted as the sound of glass shattered, hitting the wall just centre metres behind him. “Yeah right. It was my fault for having you, to begin with. My greatest mistake.”

“Don’t talk to him like that!” Veronica growled, low and leaking of anger. Her fists clenched as she pushed her face in front of the man. “You wanna play all innocent? Fine be that asshole, but you dare,” She strained her voice, heavier and louder than before. “You dare touch my brother or get close to hurting him like that again, then I won’t be the only one you have to deal with.”

“Veronica stop, please” He tried to say, but was halted by the fear wrapping its hands around his neck, as he listened to his ‘father’s’ next words. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I won’t be here to try.”

Won’t be here? This is not what he wanted. Surely. This was just a small family argument, right? They would all go to their rooms, sleep, maybe cry and then in the morning they would share apologies through their loving actions across the breakfast table as they plan their next course of action. Right? Veronica and himself would discuss their trip back, and maybe have pancakes if they were up to it. And their dad would be watching over them sipping coffee as he listened to the radio news. This whole thing would be forgotten… right? Right? No.

_No._

_NO! WE’RE A FAMILY! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE US LIKE THAT!_

“We’re not a family anymore.” Had he really said that out loud? Had his dad really replied to him with such spite and hatred? Is this how his family is supposed to end? He looked into his dad’s eyes, looking for remorse, regret, anything. Nothing. They stared, and it felt like hours for Lance. But it wasn’t even a second as his dad grabbed his coat, his wallet and car keys and waltzed.

Euphoria for the man who was now free; horror for the children who couldn’t see.

Their eyes shedding silent burns marks down their cheeks and blood assaulting their heads as they saw so many colours fly past them. Blue was the tears as they hissed against their pupils; Yellow was the reflection of light that darted across the room; Green was nausea that threatened to push them deeper; Red was the anger that made them fall; Black was the last thing they saw as the night stole the light.

_……………………………………._

He was not sure whether he was waiting for a sign in this barren land of ash and sand, or if there was a real reason for watching the sun suck the life out of the desert. It was the same damn sun he would watch every morning, but there was no emotion he could drive out of himself to make its beauty meaningful. It was just the Sun.

The deadly Sun.

Part of him wanted to believe that he was here because it was his fault. Part of him wanted to be the waterless land, burning as it craved for some moisture. The only difference was that he did not crave it.

He deserved the pain. He should be responsible.

He should deserve the pain. He is responsible.

_You are responsible. You. You! It’s your fault! Your Selfishness brought this!_

_You’re the monster. You should be dead not her._

“I really should be.”

But instead of committing to his thoughts, he pushed himself away from the fiery sun and towards his future of being a Paladin.

_……………………….._

Thinking about it, Lance was not sure how to tell everyone that he lied about his ‘perfect’ family. Considering he hugged his sister in front of complete strangers, and then his dad did the same. Hugged him. After so long, believing that he would never see him again. He was here. With him. For him. “Son, we need to talk.” He wanted to talk to him! Lance could finally have him back in his life, and everyone would be happy.

It was late in the evening; all the paladins had conversed with each other’s families. It was a night of laughter. Tears. Smiles. Frowns. Everyone was together, but they knew it couldn’t last that long because there was still a war to be won. So, as they all shared stories about the times Keith thought tiny aliens were murderous killers, and how Lance technically stole a cow that was already stolen, everyone knew that it was time to depart, and have their own personal time with their families before they left.

So here they were. Here was Lance. Alone. With his Dad.

“I know. I’m happy to see you and-” I have this time you’ll stay. That’s what he wanted to say, but the sudden rise of his father’s voice shook him as his eyes opened wide and his voice was trapped. “Don’t do anything like that again!”. _Everything is fine Lance. He’s just worried. He didn’t mean to shout. He didn’t-_

“I’m sorry?” _Oh god, why did you say that you idiot?_ He didn’t want to hear an answer. He hoped. Prayed. Wished. Believed, he truly cared, and he couldn’t bear to find out that it was out of pity. He knew. Part of him knew it was too good to be true that his dad would truly care for him. This was a man who neglected him. Blamed him for the death of the most caring angel in his life. Someone who made him believe that he was someone **no one** should care about.

“What are you, thick?” And his thoughts were true. “Your whole fucking journey to another land” The older man exclaimed as he waved his hands to the air. There was spite in every word, and Lance could hear it, he just didn’t want to believe it. “Do you know how much stress you put your sister through?” Why was he even bringing it up? Lance Knows.

He knows. And he is just letting his father eat away at his insecurities because he feels so bad about it. “Yes, I know. We already talked and she said to-” _talk about it with her later._ Because Veronica knew it wasn’t time to talk about it yet.

_But what if she doesn’t want to deal with you. No. She’s my sister._

“I don’t care what that bitch said.” Excuse you. That was not something lance could take kindly. He already balled his fists holding back his anger as he waited for the older man to finish. “I don’t want to hear anything from you too! You caused me so many problems! Do you know how hard it was to keep you both a secret?”

Assuming he was done with the absolute bullshit he was spitting, Lance scoffed “Are-” But was interrupted as the other pulled his collar and stood with his face millimetres away. “Incredibly hard! And then I hear about you potentially being dead, or ‘missing’ as your sister liked to say. For goodness sake, if you were going to fake being dead at least do it properly.”

“Are you done yet?” Lance questioned. There was no emotion in his question, and it mirrored his eyes. His sparkling blue eyes were impassive. They felt grey, and disrupted by something sinister, exactly like the ocean his mom fell into. He waited. One second turned to 3 seconds and 3 turned to 15 seconds of undisturbed silence. “Get out.” Then silence again as Lance ordered with strong malice.

“What did you say to me?”

“I said get the fuck out now before I get someone else to do it for me.” And suddenly, Lance remembered what it was like for time to be so slow. His sister walked in, unbeknownst to his father as he closed the door quietly. “Is everything okay?” She whispered, but no one heard her. So, she watched.

“You little ungrateful piece of-” He looked ready to punch him in the face, but Lance had better reflexes. Positives of training with a samurai. You can see every action of your enemies when you’re focused. He sure as hell proved that too as he grabs the fist that was ready to hit him and pushed it back along with his father as he stood further away from him.

“Oh believe me you are the ungrateful one here. Heck, I could be screaming my lungs out right now with a list of all the fucked-up shit you did, but frankly, I am so done with your shit that I don’t even feel like wasting my breath on you.” And with that Lance sighed. He was readying to turn around and start a new life remembering that he has a **real family** that cares about him. He was going to be a better man than his father ever was.

“After everything I’ve done for you, you-” But something always comes swinging back.

“You did nothing!” He finally screamed. He cried. He retaliated.

“You left us. You left me. You made yourself a happy little family without us and you didn’t even tell them about us because you don’t want us!” He did not even try to argue.

“And I’m supposed to be grateful? The only thing I’m grateful about is that fact I get this chance to tell you what a terrible father you are!” He implied it before, but there was something about finally saying the exact words that made him feel so much better.

So yeah, I am ungrateful. Go ahead and think that way, like I even care. At least do yourself a favour and be a better father for your children, because I am not one of them anymore.” He finally smiled. A real smile. He could finally wear one and not worry about the hatred his dad made him feel.

“Oh and one more thing. Don’t you dare call my sister a Bitch.” And if Lance left that night with euphoria in his veins as he was finally free from the real monster of his family, while he is dad left with a black eye and a bruised lip… no one needed to know.

No one needed to know, but the universe always had something swinging Lance back.

_……………………………………_

Lance had been standing outside the door for quite some time now. He was desperate to talk to his sister. But he was scared. Part of him knew asking questions was the right way to find out about his childhood, but the rest of him feared that the nightmares and visions he had were true. If they were, it would be painful for her to go through it again.

But it was okay for him to ask. He knows that.

Before he could let his hands knock against the door, it opened, causing him to tense as he stood still and straight staring at the girl in front of him. “Honestly, Lance, just come in. I can hear you tapping your foot even from my bathroom.” Was he doing that? He didn’t even realise until she mentioned it.

“Sorry” He apologised softly as he ducked his head down and walked into his sister’s room. He looked around at the painted walls. It was similar to his, but rather than ghostly breezes causing him discomfort, he felt rather warm and safe. Homely even. The walls were displayed with pictures or friends and achievements, many of which also consisted of him and his sister.

“What’s on your mind.” What wasn’t on his mind?

Looking at Veronica, he did not feel that scared anymore. He stood calm in front of the picture painted wall as she stood next to him, arms crossed as if she did not know where to put them. In her eyes, Lance could see something he only began to recognise. Something he wished he recognised the second he saw her.

He felt angry with himself forever forgetting but it wasn’t even his fault. Images of his arguments with his father, and veronica standing by him, protecting him, were flying through his head. He whimpered slightly as he sighed and brought his arms around the girl, crying tears that now had a voice. A whine. A sound.

It wasn’t silent anymore. There was no reason for it to be. “You were my home.” He finally whispered out, instantly calling out to his sister as she brought her arms around him, holding on to the fabrics of his jacket and not letting go. “You were my family.” He continued, as more tears cascaded down his chin and new ones threatened to leave his sister’s eyes as she shut them tight.

“I forgot and I’m S-sorry.” He voices became more distraught, quiet, and broken as his whimpers broke the steady voice he tried to keep. “But I-I never w-want to for-get again.” This time it was his sister's voice that interrupted him with a tender “Lance.”, But he continued. “I will n-never ev-er Forget. I Promise.”

“It’s not your fault.” Veronica, this time cried, moving away from him so she could see his face. She pushed back and looked at the boy, whose eyes were against the ground as she held his hands. “Hey. Look at me. Lance, look at me please.” She held on to his cheeks, urging him to look back at her as they both cried. “It’s not your fault. It was never your fault. Talk to me please.”

And so, they did. Lance explained his worries and hurtful memories, and Veronica listened, trying her best to help him make sense of the things he did not understand. And maybe Lance was here to tell her about more than just the memories, and more than just his worries, but his insecurity. But Veronica knew that his insecurities were not just for her to understand.

Because his friends needed to understand, and the monstrous universe needed to let him rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literal tears were formed, on multiple occasions, in the making of this chapter.  
> .  
> .  
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> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Wholesome Hance next chapter???


	9. The Yellow Paladin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow  
> / ˈjɛləʊ/  
> Adjective  
> 1\. Of the colour between green and orange in the spectrum, a primary subtractive colour complementary to blue; coloured like ripe lemons or egg yolks.  
> 2\. Not Brave; Cowardly  
> 3\. Yellow is the colour of sunshine, and will instantly invite feelings of warmth, happiness, and a love of learning.
> 
> Example: “Am I even the Yellow Paladin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I didn't plan it this way at first. It was meant to be a happy chapter... then my brain said No.
> 
> I actually lost my first version of this chapter. Fun times. But it is okay.

_The **yellow** one._

_I will always stand for love._

_For love… For **friendship** … for family…_

_…But **earnest** I can be._

_Do not forget…_

**_…Do not forget blue one…_ **

**_…Do not forget him._ **

_He one cares too deep for you, even when earnest takes over…_

_…When earnest takes over, **he does not forget…**_

_He simply loses what cannot be lost again and what should **never** have been lost._

_Wake up. Remember **my Paladin.**_

_When Blue Speaks, Yellow will listen… and **Green** will see too._

…………………………………………………

Thinking about it, how much of Lance was he around in the past few months? When did he ask his parents to have dinner with him? No, he wasn’t there. When they travelled in their lions and stopped at each planet? Well, maybe a couple of times at mealtime and training. Okay. What about when they- He and Pidge- were fixing the… No.

Really? Have I really left him out that much?

The more Hunk thought about it, the more he realised maybe he hasn’t been such a great friend as he thought he was.

“Pidge did we ever try to include Lance into things?” He questioned them as they worked on the device, they wanted to help Lance. Pidge wasn’t really paying attention as they wired the headset and tried to see its projection on the screen in front of them, frustrated that all she could get was static.

“What do you mean?”

“You know hanging out with him,” Hunk questioned again, more agitated by the fact he could remember countless times that he waved Lance off so he could help Pidge with their projects. “I mean other than the times he would come himself, to watch what we’re doing…”

“He stopped after the Lotor thing.” Even as there was clear seriousness in Hunk’s voice, Pidge was still focused on the headset in front of her, pushing a wrench into Hunk’s hand as she reached for a flathead screwdriver.

“That’s the thing. He used to. He used to watch what we were doing, he used to bake with me on stressful days, and we used to have bro-time.”

“Bro-time?”

“Pidge. Listen.” Hunk sighed, more agitated by the lack of attention from the other. After pulling the device away from them and into his lap, after a short disgruntle from Pidge, he held her face in the palms of his hands. It would have been almost comical, had it not been for the seriousness in his voice. “We haven’t included him in the last couple of months! Since Space. Since Lotor!”

“Hunk calm-”

“And I thought this whole time I was a good friend, but I didn’t even notice till now! He was drifting away from us and stood around doing nothing. The worst part about it is we didn’t know because we pushed him! I pushed him! I’m supposed to be his friend and listen to him when he needed me because-because I’m his friend! What kind of friend doesn’t support each other? He made me better. Help me when I was down. Pushed me to love Shay and helped me when my insecurities were high and I… didn’t even help him.” Maybe it was a Hunk thing, but he definitely succeeded in making the other cry as broke out his dilemma. His voice was shattered.

“Am I even the Yellow Paladin?”

“Hunk, what? Don’t say that of course, you are!”

“Really? Because I haven’t really shown the qualities-”

“Dude Stop! I’m in that same equation. I haven’t been the best either. You just said that. Heck, I’m supposed to be the observant one, but I didn’t even realise what it meant. Th-that's why we have to try our best to help him now, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” His voice softened as he pulled away, both leaning against the wall behind them. “And we got to make it up to him. What do you mean you didn’t realise?”

“I wasn’t the best at making friends. But both you and Lance pushed me, and you were there for me. ‘Garrison Trio’ and all. Sure, there is Shiro and Keith I can talk to, but you guys seem to understand me and it’s weird. But not the bad kind, the good kind.” They laugh nervously, finding the right words to use. “You, Hunk, are so loving that it’s sickening. Really. But you put that love into the things that matter. Your friends, Your family, Voltron. Yes I know you didn’t see Lance, not the way you… actually, we should have. But in defence, he was good at hiding it. So don’t you dare question your place as a Paladin, because I will tell your lion and she will bit you”

“No, she wouldn’t. She’s as affectionate as a house-cat.”

“Yeah, just like her paladin.” Pidge Snickered before continuing.

“I noticed he would come into the lab, late in the night, and take me back to my room. I seemed to always fall asleep on the floor, but I was still awake enough to tell it was him. When things got too stressful, he tended to ignore us for a while, but when he came back he brought snacks for us. At first, I thought it was you but, well you questioned me about the milk, and I realised it was him. It was only logical. Then he would always do brotherly things. Maybe I noticed it because it reminded me of Matt, but he used to ask me to play video games often.”

“I also noticed, that instead of telling us how he felt, he would just walk away from the situation and smile like it was nothing. That was a recent Hunk. I was spying on Keith and Lance a couple of nights ago and… he didn’t say that much. Obviously, he couldn’t, he doesn’t remember! But there was this tone… Hunk I’m supposed to be the observant one and I wasn’t observant enough.”

“And it makes sense now.” Pidge hollowed out, as they brought their legs into their chest.

“But you still noticed more than me.”

“and I still did nothing Hunk! I was too focused on finding my own family to care that I didn’t even see the people I had in front of me. And when I did find them, I was too wrapped up in other stuff and I-I was being a fucking child.”

“You are a kid.” Hunk had to state the obvious, but Pidge was not having any of it.

“And so are you, so is Lance. So was everyone…. Minus Coran and Shiro… and maybe Allura? Technically? Look, we all made mistakes. We had our own focuses, and we didn’t think. We didn’t remember that the things we have in front of us are what’s important. But we can try to be better and do something about it now.”

“And we start here, with this.” They explained, picking up the forgotten headset they were fixing minutes ago. Smiling as they shared wordless agreements. We’re doing this for Lance.

……………………………………………………………….

Hunk still couldn’t get over the fact he kind of disowned his friend. Of course, Hunk being Hunk wanted to immediately make up for it.

After helping Pidge for a while, he was too agitated again. Walking through the hallways, looking for his friend, he thought of possible ways he could make it up. _What does Lance like? What should I do? Maybe I should make him something?_

_“Hey, Hunk.”_

_Ah, great his voice is haunting me from the regret._

“Hey, Lance.”

_Hold up._

“OH!, Lance, YOU’RE HERE?”

“Uhm. Yes? Are you okay?”

“Great.Great.Great” _Stop being awkward Garret._ “Wha-what about you?” _You fool Tsuyoshi Garret. You fool!_

“I was actually looking for you.”

“Really?”

“I was hoping I could talk to you about something. But it’s okay if you’re too busy.” Lance asked, reaching the back of his own neck as she nervously looked down.

“No.No.No. You’re good. Uhm. You’re room?” _Why are you acting like you never met this man? This is your Friend you imbecile? Okay now you’re being harsh on yourself, I swear you-_

“Yeah, it would make it easier. You may need to sit down for this one.”

………………………….

His dream was truly odd. Perhaps it was because of his recent endeavour talking with his sister, but there was something weird about it.

He knew that it was a lion. Most likely the yellow lions due to the warm comfort of the sun. Also, because it felt friendly; it reminded him of Hunk. I guess that is how he came to the assumption that they were close friends. The aura, radiating off the big guy was so strong you just had to hug him; Lance could never imagine saying no to him.

Maybe this was step one. To talk with Hunk and understand what their relationship was like. To understand that he always had a shoulder to lean on. To understand that he does have someone. Maybe that was what the voice- the lion- was telling him in his dream.

What he did not understand, was why he was so quiet. So awkward. On edge. So, cowardice. Not that it was the word he wanted to describe Hunk, but he really was so…yellow, and not the sweet kind.

“Are you sure this is okay?” He asked wanted to know if he was taking up too much of the other’s time. Considering his fidgeting hands, and slow pace it was only right for him to assume that something was wrong. “Yes. Of course, it is. I just- I’m just-”

“I’m worried about you.” And it wasn’t a complete lie through his mouth. Hunk cannot lie. He tried. 5th grade when he left his work at home, he cried and said, and I quote ‘It was my dog, but I don’t even have a dog I’m lying’, and one breath. Of course, that was quite some time ago. “I’ve been thinking about it lately. I guess all I can do is think. We really aren’t doing much until Allura can figure out what’s going on with the robeast slash Altean situation. You know what a robeast is right? It’s a giant robot beast thing in the sky kinda like Voltron but it's super powerful and evil and-”

“Yes hunk I know what it is, I’ve been at the briefings for a few days now.”

“Haha yeh…” On arrival to his room, Hunk questioned why they weren’t just given their old dormitories back. They would be sharing, just like old times. Then again, they couldn’t expect the Garrison to keep their rooms empty for years straight, could they?

Walking in, Hunk Instantly took a seat waiting for Lance to speak as they sat staring into space, ironically enough. “So… you to wanted to talk.”

“I had this dream.” Lance began immediately. There was no point in avoiding it any longer. He was going to explain his dream. Then talk about his childhood. And that’s what he did. “I need you to understand that there was a reason why I never told you.”

When Blue speaks- “So let me speak-”

Yellow will listen- “I want you to be the first to listen. I can trust you because you’re my friend. That is who you are supposed to be, and that’s why yellow believes in you.”

And green will see. “And so do I. Not just you. Pidge, Keith, Shiro, Allura. Everyone. But I need to do this one by one.”

With nothing else but a nod, Lance began his story. The story of a young boy hoping for the world to see him for who he was. The series of adventures that he imagined among the shores of summer beaches and galactic skies. The unveiling of horrors and the truth. The understanding of the reality he lived and where he stands now.

The story of the Blue paladin,

Meant for the yellow paladin.

…………………………………………………..

“We’re going to need to launch the Atlas one day or another, Shirogane”

“I know, but please. Just a little while longer.” If there was any chance, they could get Lance to remember more about the team, it would save them so much. At least to Iverson. To Shiro, he was worried that he could be sending his own teammate and friend back into something that he has no memories off.

It wasn’t a shock for him to see that boy walking the endless halls of the castle, watching Pidge until she was asleep and in her room. Rescuing Hunk from collapsing in the Kitchen from his weekly stress sessions. Tiring Keith out until he was forced to leave the training room. It wasn’t even a surprise when he was always down to listen to everyone’s issues. What was a surprise was that Shiro himself forgot he was just a kid; a kid trying to lighten the mood and save everyone from killing each other.

He didn’t realise it till now. But if he could get them some time to stay on the ground, whether it is to spend more time with family or to get everyone, and he meant everyone, feel ready to back into space, then maybe a little delay would be okay. Right?

“We are already delayed by a week.” Deep down, he also knew that Iverson had to feel the same. It’s one thing going into space understanding what the dangers were. But if there were random triggers in the middle of battles, would everyone be okay?

_Don’t stress too much. It’s not your decision to make. Even so-_

“Just a little while longer.” A little time never hurt anyone right?

“3 days. Whatever the situation. We need to be up in the air in 3 days. Worst case scenario, we have too many resources.”

Even if it felt like he was asking for this selfishly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOoooooOOoO Are we going to Space next chapter?????


	10. Haunting Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haunt  
> /ˈhɔːnt/  
> Verb  
> 1\. Be Persistently and disturbingly present in (the mind)  
> 2\. (Of something unpleasant) continue to affect or cause problems for.
> 
> Example: “Why was he having the same haunting memory for the past two days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting so patiently, I know I took a bit longer for this chapter, but I was prepping for my exam I have to do for the next two days in college. ಥ_ಥ 
> 
> On another note. OMGGGG OVER 700 HITS AND 46 KUDOS AHHH!!!!
> 
> Honestly, I love writing this and reading your comments about enjoying it and it makes me happen so THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYONE!

_The cold air suffocated him as gravity glided his weightless body through the stars. The chilling bleak and hellish vastness should have scared. It should have made him scream. But there was something about the stars that held him so softly even when he did not want to let go._

_But it felt like he was. Like there was no tether to pull him back into the arms of his lion. Granted he was already in the red lion, but everything seemed so colourless. So dreary. Like he was dead again._

_The only other thoughts in his mind were the burning recollection of being brought back and the question of letting go. Because why shouldn’t he let go? Why follow the stars back when he could just fall? **Because the stars will always guide you home mijo.**_

_That sweet tearful voice uncovered his eyes to the beauty of the planets ahead of him._

_“Lance!”_

_He could see now. Maybe it was his lion’s voice he heard. Maybe he thought that because of the familiarity of her voice. But there was a fragment of motherly love showering his mind, repeating the word he had not heard in so long. **Mijo.**_

_“Lance, are you even listening?”_

_It was understandable to believe that he was overthinking. It was possible that he was dreaming and none of this was even true. Even so, he kept it in his mind and continued to listen to the other voices screaming at him._

_“Yeah, I am. Sorry about that. Comms was off.” Of course, it was a lie._

_“We’re going to land on the next planet to pick up some supplies. You’re with me.” Keith’s sigh was enough for Lance to realise he needed to calm down and gather his surroundings. At least this would give him a chance to ground himself._

_“Sure, thing Keithers.” He commented like his voice was not about to break._

_“Don’t call me that.”_

_“Okay. Thought it was a nice change from Mullet, but I guess that little nickname has grown on you huh?”_

_“What no! Never mind, just get ready to land. Some open-air will do us all some good.” And maybe Lance agreed, more for himself than anything. One thing for sure, he didn’t miss the concern the other had over him. Maybe it’s a Keith thing. Maybe it’s a Black Paladin thing._

………………………………………………………

“… and that is why you’ll be leading Voltron.

Keith groaned after arguing with Shiro for the past 10 minutes on being the Black Paladin. One would think that after facing Sendak for the second time, Keith would finally understand…Apparently not. “Seriously Shiro Once was enough. I’m not-”

“You say not leader material one more time I swear I’m gonna eject myself out of the ship first chance I get.” And one would think Shiro'sPatience yields focus’ motto would keep him together, but he was on the brim of pulling his hair out. “That isn’t even a threat anymore; you’ll do it without reason. We haven’t even launched the Atlas yet.”

“You know what. No. You’re diverting from the conversation!” Taking one deep breath, Shiro calmed himself before holding his brother’s shoulders, looking at the way his eyes scanned their feet. “Keith. I need you to do this. I am still leading you guys. I’ll just be leading from the Atlas. We work together that is how this works. You know that’s how this works. You really need to stop playing the losing game.”

Bringing his focus to the older man, Keith argued again, more reluctant than he was before. “Shiro. I’m not the black Paladin, as much as you want me to be.” He sighed, before pushing away Shiro’s hold on his shoulders. “Besides, I wasn’t really the best leader material before.”

“No one said you were. But Keith, you need to understand that being a leader won’t define you.” And of course, he knew what the other was talking about. Keith wasn’t exactly the most accepting person when it came to himself. But if there was one thing he knew for sure; it was that Keith cared about the team. The people close to him. But he was afraid to lead because of who he thinks he is/

“Being a leader is part of who you are. Just like the Red Lion. The Blade of Marmora. Voltron. Being Galra. Being Human. They are all part of you, but they are not you. But Being Keith? that is who you are. Being a leader is part of everyone. You just need to let more of it show. You weren’t ‘leader material’ the first time. So what? You weren’t really trained to be the captain of the quiznacking power rangers.”

“Neither were you, and you did just fine.” Very valid point. Fortunately, Shiro knew exactly how to reply back to the remark his brother made. “I wasn’t.” To his confusion, Keith was unsure how to reply. He did, however, finally hold straight eye contact with the other as he continued to explain.

“I chose to trust in you more than the others, and to be honest It was because of favouritism. That was stupid.” He always knew it was. But combine the shattering anomaly of Spacetime and the never-ending cycle of fighting galra and almost dying, he may or may have not looked it over for a while. “I learnt and I spent more time with others.”

“I focused so hard on the fact that we were in a war sometimes that I forgot, you’re all just teenagers. You’re going to make mistakes. But that’s okay. You did the same thing. You had a rocky start as a leader, but you got through it. You found me. And you brought us home.”

“I’m just scared that something will happen to one of us out there, and it would be my fault for not bringing them home.” It could be anyone else but him as the leader.

“It could happen. Not the best way to think about it. Keith, everyone is scared. And to be honest, under any other circumstance, I would get you all to show yourself to the black lion and let her choose. Frankly, no one else can do this but you Allura isn’t in the correct mindset to make neutral decisions right now. Especially with her new revelations of her people. Pidge is too young and somehow the most likely to make some chaotic decisions, and Hunk is…way too sweet to make heavy decisions. Did you know he tried to negotiate with an enemy?” That was a very haunting mission.

“Oh yeh, it involved Pidge and a Bomb.” Wait that is not right.

“What!? I was talking about his Solo mission in the third month we were in space. It happened more than once?”

“Yeah… Lance dealt with it though.” Oh, thank God.

“Yeah. Lance. He would also make a good leader.” Thinking about it, the only thing that holds Lance back was his ability to voice his opinions… Granted his clone never really gave him the chance too, but he really didn’t want to think about that.

“Better than me.”

“Perhaps to you. What you lack, he has; But what he lacks, you have. It’s always been ying and yang with you two. Maybe that’s why you both switched lions together.” _It’s always been constant pinning for you guys too, and it is getting very painful to watch._

“I guess.”

“Lance, as it stands, Needs guidance. He needs his friends, his teammates. He needs Hunk, Pidge, Me, Allura… You. I thought the longer we stayed on the ground; the better a chance he could get back on his two feet. He could have more time to remember everything. But you can’t keep a bird in a change for too long, especially if it forgot to fly. Because the minute you let them out, they can fall.” _If he is going to be a leader, he will do it to protect the ones around him. The one- I mean the ones he loves._

“Alright. Fine. But don’t blame me if we ever crash.” _I’m always right._

“Something tells me the chances of that is less than 1%, and it isn’t the unnerving voice of Slav in my head.”

“Are- are you okay?”

_……………………………………………_

Lance always thought that if something was wrong, he could sense it instantly. And this was one of those moments. Waking up, feeling as if the world was collapsing on his chest and the sudden urge to reach for air, certainly made that even clear.

It was safe to say that he was gaining more of his memories, night after night, but something wasn’t right. The constant affirmation from his friends about his achievements as a paladin and about his comforting nature was hovering around his mind on repeat. _You are a worthy paladin. You are a worthy teammate._

So why was he constantly dreaming about drowning in his own sorrows? Why were his dreams constantly flooded with the possibility of falling asleep and never waking up? Why was he having the same haunting memory for the past two days? The thought was so tantalising that he missed the echoes of knocks on his bedroom door.

“Hey Lance, are you awake yet?” Pidge questioned before knocking a few more times to get his attention. “Yeah, give me a minute. I’m coming.” Rubbing his eyes and stretching before quickly changing. He switched from soft silky pyjamas to his blue and white attire of Garrison uniform.

He was always one to wake up early, despite the concern from his friend as they watched him breakfast every morning late. He always allowed himself time to pamper his complexion, whether it was needed or not. So of course, even with the weight of a depressing mindset, nothing was going to stop him from covering the shadows and crevasses of his eye bags.

He had a lot to do, and he was not about to walk around looking like the face of death while doing it. He was aware that this was their last day on earth before leaving for space again. If Pidge managed to complete her device, everything would be okay. He could continue to be the Lance they knew and loved, and he could remember. But it was becoming clear that something was not adding up, and he needed to find out that it was.

Lance thought Pidge’s device would show him that, but he does not even know if he wants to know. What if he is missing memories he does not want? What if he is missing memories that he would rather throw away? What if he is happier now, not remembering them?

Because every dream, or vision, or memory that he recalls every night, is becoming darker and murkier. More grim and painful. Leaving him to wake up more daunted and apprehensive for his trust in people.

Opening his door, and greeting the smaller paladin, Lance walked alongside them, letting the questions eat away, as he laughed and smiled at the small conversation they were making. “So, I was hoping to get one test in, before we launch. We have until 4 pm so that’s about 8 hours.”

“Breakfast first and then we can.” He commented, feeling the emptiness in his stomach, though he was not too keen on taking a bite of anything. “Urgh Fine.”

…………………………………

“Did it work?” It wasn’t anything helpful if that was what the younger paladin was asking. “Not really? I don’t know, all it did was replay my dream from last night.” The same dream of endlessly drifting and thinking while on his pilot seat, only to be brought back to reality by the voices of his teammate. Only this time was different.

“I think, this was different though.” It was more vivid. More concerning. “How so?” He twirled the headband in his hands, contemplating how to describe the feeling he was talking about. “Last night, I had a dream I was really out of focus, but then Keith was explaining about a mission and everything was fine.”

“What was different this time?”

“It started the same, but the feeling was stronger. It hurt more. Then it ended with Allura, But instead of talking to her through the comms, she was there?” There was something about this that sent chills down Pidge’s back. As if there was something she missed, or something they all missed. “What?”

“Did I die?” It may have seemed crazy to think, but he really believed it was a serious option. Something that could have really happened. He just didn’t know why it felt as if no one knew.

“What, no, you were just in critical condition, the doctors said the impact affected you more than us.”

“I’m not talking about that Pidge. I’m talking about in space.”

“I-” Pidge really didn’t know how to answer. More shudders ran down her spine, listening to him talk so softly his voice could have been shattered. The most off-putting thing about it was that his body language stayed the same. No shakiness in his hands, no signs of legs bouncing with nervousness or irritation. He was just still.

“Pidge, I need to tell you the same thing I told Hunk, and I need you to tell me if anything happened out there. I don’t think, heck, I don’t even know if I’ve ever felt this much negativity in my mind.”

………………………………………….

“Are we all ready to leave?” Shiro questioned, watching Adam guide garrison crewmates as they carry craters of resources and back-up supplies on to the Atlas. “Are you sure you want to come”

“You can’t stop me.” The other instantly spoke, to threaten the other. “And if you try to die again, I will kill you myself.” Snickering at his fiancé, he ran his hand through his hair, hiding his smile as he watched the other Paladins walk in. “Kindly get a room and leave the PDA inside that please.”

“Aww, Keith said please.” Hunk awed as he followed Allura and Coran. Shiro however, was more focused on where the last two were. “Hunk where are Pidge and Lance.”

“They wanted to get some tests on the headset before leaving. They were supposed to finish a while ago.”

“We’re here.” They announced as they ran in, panting arrived. “Sorry, we’re late.” Though, they were not late at all. After gaining their breath, they all noticed the two wearing drooping faces of distress and disappointment. “I take it, it didn’t work as a plan.”

“I guess you could say that.” Pidge huffed at Shiro but seemed more disappointed in herself than anyone. “I’m, gonna go help bring in the last couple boxes. Only an hour to go.” Lance awkwardly moved to the boxes near Adam who, knowing that the others would want to have a more private conversation, followed him quietly.

“What’s wrong?” Keith was first to question the peculiar face Pidge was wearing, watching the other walk away with the boxes. “Something happened. And I don’t know if we can fix it.” The lack of confidence in the younger paladin’s voice did not go unnoticed by the others.

“But we can try, can’t we?” Hunk tried to lift optimism, hoping that she meant that the headset was busted, or that it did the wrong thing, but her next words broke him away from that though. He didn’t know what to think.

“You can’t fix someone dying.” No one knew what to think. But one of them knew what to say. “Omega Shield.”

“Allura?” Her voice shivered saying those two words, and Pidge knew exactly what was happening. Whatever Lance saw was a real memory. It meant two things. Her headset worked, which was great! But it also meant that Lance’s thought of dying wasn’t a dream.

“So, it’s true then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Okay this is what'll happen in the chapter.
> 
> Brain: Don't take yourself so seriously...
> 
> Me: Oh No...
> 
> Brain: AND I WONDER WHY I TEAR MYSELF DOWN, TO BE BUILT BACK UP AGAIN.
> 
> Me: FUCK...


End file.
